Small-Town Saturnalia

how to leave the love you forgot subject yourself to the kind of ice water you burn out lies with dress down to little and track traces stare down love you can't quite taste frozen in space we are nothing now i am alone forever so small i just want out but nothing is working i don't feel alive dead end life where i look for no spark take a dream kill it dead buried alive i don't think the formula was ever right here but now i live life so, so scared what if i'm wrong i can't trust this body these dreams this memory so what if i die with that sunset inside me i promise myself it's slow going how many times can i rub my nose in this piss puddle before i blackout and wake up free